Was it as good for you as it was for me

Following on from the previous taboo-breaking video platform about the sexual dysfunction vaginismus (www.levenmetvaginisme.nl), there is now a new video platform about the female orgasm and sexual pleasure: Was it as good for you as it was for me? Because another sexual taboo, the female orgasm, urgently needs to be brought into the spotlight. Together, Jorien Dousma and I have captured the stories of women who have experienced no, hardly any, or indeed many orgasms in their lives and, above all, asked them the question: what do you need to experience pleasure in sex?

On this video platform - filled with intimate stories about the female orgasm and sexual pleasure - women of all ages talk about their experience of orgasm; how orgasm feels, how they reach orgasm, whether they experience it alone or with a partner, what different types of orgasm they can experience, what they like and what they don’t like. What sex is like without an orgasm and how it makes them feel if they have never experienced an orgasm. What the first time was like, how it happens now, and how this has changed. And how women respond when they have faked an orgasm to the famous, beautifully phrased question: _“Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

Why this platform?

This platform puts women’s sexual pleasure first and increases knowledge about the mystery of the female orgasm by bringing experiences—from none other than the woman herself—into the world. Why? Because the mystery surrounding the orgasm turns out to be great. Because no many women tell the other what they experience. Because there is still a taboo on enjoying solo sex. Because there is still a taboo on elderly people experiencing sexuality. And on young girls becoming sexually active. Because women still regularly experience painful sex. Because we would like to close the orgasm gap. Because the female orgasm in the bedroom still regularly falls short of that of the male partner. Especially heterosexual women climax much less often during sex than straight men. In sexual contact between two women, this is much less unequal and women predominantly climax more often.

This video platform literally gives the taboo subject a face. We share real, pure stories from women so that you can learn everything about female pleasure. Because an orgasm is so much more than just a climax.

This platform is supported by specialists, scientists, and experts by experience. We have a partnership with various sexologists and scientists.

The makers

Andrea Bijen [1985, Amsterdam], director, visual researcher, teacher. Among other things, initiator of the taboo-breaking and anti-stigmatizing online film platform It’s a story to be told // Leven met vaginisme about and for women dealing with this sexual dysfunction. Before this, I could be heard on 3FM, among others, and I spoke at Lowlands. For two years, I was a jury member for the Sex and Media Prize, which is awarded annually by the NVVS. Currently, I am working on a new film project. More work can be found on andreabijen.nl.

Jorien Dousma [1980, Heiloo], cultural anthropologist/researcher. My master’s degree is a specialization in gender, sexuality, and society, during which I conducted research into the experience of the orgasm among men and women in the Netherlands. After working for years as a researcher and communication advisor, I decided in 2017 to follow my heart and start my own projects around sexuality. In my view, personal stories provide a beautiful insight into the vulnerable, intimate, and true world of the storyteller, but also into broader social and cultural processes, such as ideas, norms, and taboos about sex, gender, and intimate relationships.